Next Question?

As life here continues to fascinate and amaze me, I constantly think that I should be writing about the things I see, the people I meet and the general feeling of what it is like to live in South Korea.
  There isn't a single day that is in anyway normal or mundane largely due to the fact that I am surrounded by Korean elementary school students wherever I go.
  Upon arriving in a Korean school, a foreign teacher normally starts with an introduction lesson which will consist of a powerpoint detailing your house, family, pets and distinguishing landmarks from your home country.  Being from England actually makes me slightly exotic as a lot of the foreign teachers here are American or Canadian.  Therefore, when I start by announcing that I am from England there is a gasp followed by some mutterings along the lines of "where the hell is that?" and then a chorus of random words ring out which I have learnt are what comes to mind when you say England to some elementary school students here.  It is not uncommon for me to walk down the road and be asked "where are you from?" by the braver middle to high school students around town.  After telling them them that I am English, there is usually a pause which precedes the barrage of random words and phrases which they associate with my country.  Among the more popular things that get shouted at me are 'Soccer, David Beckham, Wayne Rooney, London, the Queen and the Beatles. On a particularly good day I could here all of the following things on a five minute stroll to the shop and it always amuses me to think that this is normal here.  I mean I don't find it offensive (quite the opposite) but If I asked a random stranger walking down the street where they were from and they said Holland, it would never occur to me to nod and then shout "Amsterdam, Edam, Orange, Clogs and Windmills!!".
 

So after the initial presentation, a teacher will often let the students ask any questions that they may have.  I am an elementary school teacher so my questions are less awkward and just plain amusing and/or imaginative.  The most common questions I am asked are the following;


(1) How old are you?        (a reasonable enough question to start with)


(2) Do you have a girlfriend? or Are you married? (When I answer the first question with 'Yes' then they normally ask the second question and demand to know why I have a girlfriend who I have not yet married)


(3) Do I like Korean Food?  (They really just want to know how much I like Kimchi, a fermented cabbage dish which they eat religiously with every single meal)


(4) Do my family live here with me in Korea? ( It seems to really surprise my students that I would be here without my family)


(5) How did I get here? (A personal favourite of mine because they think it is amazing that I flew on an aeroplane which leads tothe next question which is.....)


(6) How much does it cost to fly to Korea? (A lot of pocket money, next question please?)


By this time we get the more imaginitive questions such as -


(7) Have I ever been in a Movie? (I ask them if the School nativity play which my parents recorded in 1987 counts, they look at me blankly and unamused. Next question....)


(8) Do I have a six pack? (Ok, now who is taking the piss? This notion of course remains in my head and I smile and say "ummm", before I can tell them of my intention to rejoin a gym, I am saved by another hand shooting up at the back)


This is where the jokers in the class pipe up, although I can't begrudge them that, because at school, this would have been me.


(9) Are you scared of anything? (Hmmm excellent question!  Off hand I can't think of anything so I answer honestly and say nothing comes to mind - although answering questions from elementary school students is hurtling increasingly faster towards the top of the list)


However, it would seem that the cute little 9 year old Korean boy is a future budding member of the press and I have walked into his trap.... he looks me right in the eye and asks "What if you were in a cage with a lion?". I have to hand it to him I would have been proud of that one but fortunately, I was quite literally saved by the bell.